How come you never hear anyone say Happy Groundhog Day anymore? I heard that Target and Wal-mart in an effort to foist "diversity" on us are telling all of their cashiers not to wish anyone a "Happy Groundhog Day" on Feb. 2. First, the War on Christmas, then the Wars on Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, not to mention the Wars on Ramadan and Yom Kippur. When was the last time someone wished you a Happy Yom Kippur*? My point exactly. And it's spreading. Today, at Dunn Brother's no one wished me a Happy Groundhog Day. Instead I get some bland "have a nice day". There were no special Groundhog Day-themed flavored lattes. No Groundhogs decorating the store. Nothing. It's like they don't even know it's Groundhog day. Where will these liberal secularists stop? Well, I for one will not stand for this ignominy. I am starting a boycott of all businesses that refuse to acknowledge Groundhog Day, a holiday that reflects everything that America is based on. I hope that all good Americans who are decent and love all that is pure in the genus Marmota will join me in my noble pursuit.
*I know that Yom Kippur is not a "happy" holiday. That's what makes the satire funny. Not like anyone is reading this, you know...
Friday, February 2, 2007
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