Monday, May 9, 2011

The Basics

You get on your bike and ride it. Easy as that, right? Not so fast there chief. Unless you’re participating in one of many naked rides around the world (no, I’m not gonna link to that), you need to put some clothes on, certainly for your own comfort, if not for your modesty. If you’re just riding a bike the choice of apparel is easy; shorts, t-shirt, athletic shoes, sunglasses. Maybe a hat (although everyone should wear a helmet). But that’s not us. We are not People Who Just Ride Bikes. We are Cyclists; we had better dress like it. But how do you do that and not look, well, uncool. This is why you have me. Everyone who gets involved in any activity carves out his/her own niche and cycling is no different. Some cyclists become racers, some wrench, some become coaches. I like to think of myself as a coach, but not a coach who focuses on training athletes to become faster cyclists. No, I focus on training People Who Ride Bikes into becoming Cyclists. After all, getting faster is easy (ride your bike!); to look good takes a lot of work. To most, that sounds elitist. It is. I make no bones about it and neither should you, dear Cyclist. I don’t condemn or look down on anyone who just rides bikes. I celebrate everyone who rides a bike. After all, one does not become a Cyclist without first riding a bike. No, for those who are ready to make The Leap, here are a few things you need to know. The basics of Cycling style, if you will:

  1. Spandex. Get to love it. Cotton is your enemy. I understand that a lot of the People Who Ride Bikes don’t wear Spandex because they think they’re too fat/skinny/etc or they’re just not comfortable with it. Nonsense. If you’re in this to transform your body, and you’re serious about it, first transform your mind. Spandex is the gateway drug to the world of Cyclists. And don’t cover it up with cotton. That just defeats the point. Wear that Spandex with confidence and pride.
  2. Bike shorts are meant to be worn directly on the skin, if you know what I’m sayin’.
  3. Wear a helmet. Cycling is sexy; brain damage is not. Modern helmets are comfortable, light and well-ventilated. There’s no excuse.
  4. Neon is fine if it’s raining, dark, or the 80’s, otherwise keep it simple and clean. By clean I mean both in design & style (here’s a great place to start) and literally clean. You gotta wash that.
  5. Cycling shoes and pedals aren’t that complicated. Sure, you’ll fall down a couple of times while you’re getting the hang of them. That just speeds up the learning process and is a rite of passage for all true Cyclists. We all have at least one story about falling while learning to ride clipless pedals. Once you get on the clipless pedals, you can start on the cycling shoes. Go with white.
  6. Shave those legs. Men and women. When you’re wearing Spandex (and why aren’t you?) nothing looks worse than hairy legs. Plus, you get a better tan, don’t pick up as much road grit, and your newly-ripped legs look much more ripped.

So there you go. Is that everything? No, of course not; I need material for further blog posts. Trust me, there’s plenty more to come. Sure, it’s a lot to digest and takes a lot of leaps mentally, which is exactly the point. Changing your life isn’t easy, but it is definitely worth it. Look at me – I look good. The results speak for themselves. This isn’t the time to go small. Now if you’ll excuse me, my legs are looking a bit stubbly and I have to go shave.

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